Moderation Mama

There's been hundreds of posts about being a 'normal mom' and how Pinterest and mommy blogs can make us feel inadequate as a mom these days. Occasionally I find myself getting caught up in these: "make my own deodorant, must eat all organic, cannot let my kids play in the tunnels at Chick-fil-a, or play with any children ever..." mustlockmykidsinabubbleforeverandever.

Until I decided to develop a new motto. I'm going to be a Moderation Mama. Everything in moderation and being confident in my parenting choices. I know I love my kids and that I always want what's best for them and for myself. I make mistakes and accidental parenting happens hourly, but I try my hardest and remember that is the motto for most mamas. We are all doing what we think is best for our babies.  Here's what my Moderation Mama motto looks like:

Worked till 2am, baby was up at 6am, and my house is a mess. I chose to play with my kids, or maybe I got a babysitter for a pedicure or a grocery shopping trip. Regardless, it's 5pm and I have a pantry full of groceries (or not!) and no dinner plans. The kids are whiny, hanging on to my leg, and I decide plan C is in effect: eating out.....

these are the days I am a McDonald's Mama.

I picked up my bountiful basket on Saturday, and today I have a refrigerator full of fresh food. It's naptime, and I spend 2 hours chopping veggies to freeze, meal planning for the week, and defrosting beef from our grass fed cow. I trade yogurt for sour cream and try a new recipe off of a paleo website. My children got 5 servings of fruits and veggies (legit, not dried fruit from a packet!) today, and I used vinegar to clean instead of Clorox wipes...

And these are the days I am a modern crunchy granola Mama.

I have to spend 2 hours on the phone trying to figure out why I'm being charged by the insurance company for vaccinations I choose to give my children so they won't end up with pertussis... I spend an hour on Pinterest trying to come up with 'fun' activities for my children to do while they sit in front of the T.V.. I talk to my best friend just because I need too. I spend time cleaning out the closet because I don't want to do it after they go to bed during my 'me time.' I wash the 10 loads of laundry, or change the sheets for the same above reason, all while my toddler is sitting in front of the TV for more then the hour I typically allow.

And these are the days I am a Mickey Mouse Mama

I dance in the kitchen, play ring around the rosie, and Yahtzee for the 200th time that day. I take a slow walk around the neighborhood admiring rocks, dirt, and bulldozers. I sing songs, read Mama Llama, build train tracks, and blow on bellies. I play peek-a-boo for thirty minutes and let them splash in the bathtub until I am soaked more than they are.

these are the days I am a memory making mama

"Don't put your shoes on the clean floors, don't wipe your hands on my pants, don't eat in the living room, don't don't don't don't." Clean your room Grandma is coming, pick up your toys we need to leave, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, no you can't have any snacks...."

these are the days I am a micro-managing mama.   

I finally made it to Hobby Lobby to get all the crafts for the 10 million pins I 'pinned' to my kid activity board. I lay out the tarp, put up the iPhone, turn on the radio, strip the kids and bust out the water play, sand, paint, markers, playdoh, and allthethingsthatmakedaddycringe!

these are the days I am a messy mama.

Most days it's do the dishes, then play Yahtzee, fold the clothes, then color, read a story, make roasted veggies and steak for dinner with pudding for dessert. Splash in the bathtub, timeout because you didn't listen. Most days it's a combination of all of the above.

And these are the days I am a moderation Mama. 

I'm confident in my decision to eat McDonald's occasionally and Chick-fil-a too often. I'm confident in my decision to push my child both educationally and mentally. I am confident in my decision to use non-organic oranges and organic apples. I love my kids and only want what's best for them and for myself. I am confident in my decision to be a moderation Mama. 

What I really want for Mother's Day...

Tomorrow will be my 3rd official Mother's Day as a mom.  There have been multiple blog posts circulating the internet about "What I really want for Mother's Day..."

Their lists include things like:
-peace and quiet
-to not change any diapers
-breakfast in bed alone
-a diamond necklace

So here's my "What I want for Mother's Day" list:

What I want for Mother's Day is lots of noise-- but you can have the whining.
The Ray household is loud. VERY loud. Survival of the loudest. E's squeals bounce off the walls as she discovers new toys and YAHTZEE! is a common daily yell around our household. I love the squeals, the 94372 verse of "He's got the whole world in His hands," and the banging of the drums (that I swore would be a phase....4 months later and it's still his favorite toy...)

What I want for Mother's Day is to change diapers---but you can handle the dirty one!
Diapering changing is when I get the deep belly laughs from E by blowing on her tummy. They are rare and must be earned but oh so sweet when they come.

What I want for Mother's Day is to eat breakfast with my kids---but you can cook it! 
Breakfast has quickly become my favorite routine with Z.  E is usually still asleep and we sit at the breakfast table for 10 minutes and talk about school the day before and all our plans for the day coming. I particularly love the excitement that the 2 year old gets on trash day. That excitment is contagious, and trash day comes once a week! 

What I want for Mother's Day is the joy of arts and crafts with a toddler---but you can clean it up!
Forget diamond necklace, this year I got my first "I love my mommy because...." picture from Zayden for Mother's Day. His statement was "I love my mommy because she buys me waffles."

Geez, Thanks for the credit kid. No "I love my mommy because she puts the frozen waffle in the toaster and pushes it down and cuts it up when it pops up."....or "I love my mommy because she reads me stories and sings me songs...." or "I love my mommy because she tells me 15 times a day to ask nicely, use my manners, eat my veggies,  and _________ (insert other 'mommyism' here)."

I love my mommy because she buys me waffles.

Well if that all it takes ---- yesterday I bought pancakes AND waffles- that should put me on the cover of Parent Magazine for next month.

What I really want for Mother's Day is what I get every day; sloppy kisses, raspberries on the tummy, squeals and laughter, breakfast talks,  and homemade presents. What I really want for Mother's Day is to spend time with the little people who make me a mother....

Oh, and maybe credit for actually heating up  the waffles.

  And a flashback to my first Mother' Day!

Check the crockpot

Tonight I made one of those dinners. The kind you get half way through and think 'Crap! I should've taken a picture of that; it was so pretty, and semi-healthy.'

Then I can post said picture on my facebook page and everyone can think I eat healthy all the time.

But, really--- it was that good.

Around 1pm I put all my ingredients for bourbon chicken in the crockpot. Turned it on low, and  walked away.

Came back around 4 for a taste test and it was still frozen solid.

Somewhere around 1:30 a huge storm had rolled through.

Thanks power outage. Luckily I managed to save it. Cooked on high for a couple of hours and almost as good new.

I also found a new favorite brand of frozen green beans. So good I can't even remember what they are called. Sauteed them with onions and spices and yum!

So today's life lesson: When life gives you a power outage; check the crockpot. 

A letter to myself

Dear October 2010 self,
Aren't you cute in your little 3 bedroom rent house finishing up school?
You walk around bragging about how your baby sleeps thru the night at 10 weeks old. The nursery was painted and completed before he came from the hospital. The pictures printed as soon as they were taken and the clothes in plastic bins folded neatly marked 0-3 months, 3-6 months and so on so forth. You happily tote your baby along on any excursion or outting that your friends suggest. You have strong opinions on every parenting topic because after all you are the expert now that you have 1 kid to most of your friends 0. And you of course, read the all books. You can tell anyone about ferber/co-sleeping/cry it out (or CIO as the cool people call it)/bed sharing (as the cool people call it) and any method in between.


Stop your bragging, picture printing, organizing, opinionated self. Spend more time in front of the camera with your baby instead of behind it. And screw the labeled bins, what's a 3 month in Gap is a 12 month in Gerber and what fits baby number 1 in length at month 2 won't fit baby number 2 ever. Take advantage of your friends with no kids and their babysitting offers and enjoy a night out with your husband once a week. And always, always, be home for nap. Throw the books out, forget a "method," and follow your instincts- you're the momma, you know best. Always.

Oh, and seriously, quit bragging. Your second child won't sleep through the night until they are 2 if  you don't.

Love,
May 2013 self