I almost blew my cover...

So yesterday I had a test. Surprise I'm in grad school, it's about 60th/90something tests I'll have in pharmacy school. (You can figure out that percentage if you'd like...I'm done with stats for awhile...)

This test wasn't suppose to be hard. I mean I've sat through all nighters, C's, B's, a few A's, weeks of studying, 14 hour days of studying, several days in a row....but never before have I stayed in a test the whole time only turning in my test after the professor calls for it. more than once Twice. And then I realized it I almost blew my cover....

Someone three years ago decided that I was worthy of an interview at one of the top pharmacy schools in the nation...and a few someone else's decided that I got in. But I am really convinced they made a mistake. I think there was a Trisha Daniel that they meant to let in instead of me.

I look at my classmates, or listen to my professors, or listen to my peers ask questions that I can't even begin to understand and think 'I am no where near smart enough to be in the school....there must be a mistake..'

I expect weekly that someone from the fifth floor (dean's office) is going to come down and told me that after three years they realized their mistake.

But then, I go to work and I counsel a patient on a medication, or I answer a question and the words just roll off my tongue. Or a friend calls me, and I help them solve their chronic headaches, or recommend a new medication for a daily condition that works...and I am amazed.

Because somehow, by the will of God, I ended up here, right now. So young and so naive, and sometimes lacking complete common sense, but I am here, and I'm going to be a pharmacist so soon, and I can do it.
I may not know all the answers to all the questions, but I know who to ask or where to find them. And I know that patience, kindness, and empathy go so much further in this profession than knowledge (and random over my head, meant for PhDXYZ school knowledge.)

I've made it this far and despite everything that will be changing in the next year, God will give me strength and patience to finish this hard, excruciating journey to the end.

But sometimes I still can't help but think "Admissions committee, are you out of your mind?"